“I conceal the good I have done and will proclaim the good that has befallen me”
– Random Paper Wisdom –
You become so much more valuable to me when your twin sister Death is lurking around the corner.
Last Wednesday I received the news that my godmother, who’s been in hospital earlier this year with heart problems, is back in there. Again with heart issues. This time it seems more serious than last time, as her heart has taken on the hobby of beating incredibly slow or super fast at irregular intervals. For now, she’s doing okay, but the episodes keep coming back when she least expects it. She’s awaiting transfer to an academic hospital where they can, hopefully, treat her better and come up with a permanent solution. It’s needless to say we’re all very worried for her, but I’ll say it anyway.
It’s difficult to appreciate what you have when you have it. The thought of losing my aunt (or anyone I care about, really), scares me. Sure, we all die and nobody lives forever, but somehow that is how we look at the World. We assume, subconsciously, that the people we love are going to be around for eternity, but truth is they won’t. There will come a day my aunt will lose this battle, or maybe another battle, and also a day I’ll lose my parents, my sisters (maybe I’ll go first), my pets.
Nothing very exciting to look forward to, but situations like this one with my godmother/aunt, Life, always remind me of how precious you are. How I constantly forget to appreciate not only you, but also what you’ve given the people around me.
This afternoon I sat in my parent’s backyard, reading a novel that is not too hard to read, but way too hard to put down. All of a sudden, though, I was distracted by a distant sound: someone was practising playing their cello.
There are two music instruments that always manage to pinpoint out where in my body my soul is hidden, and the cello is one of them.
Although the player clearly wasn’t a professional (it was obvious they were rehearsing by the mistakes they made), it was very nice to hear them play. To pun it out, Life: their practising was literally music to my ears.
I sat for a few minutes and told my deceased friend C. that this was my “joyful moment of the day” (I try to find one each day, like she did). A good book, a cup of tea and someone giving me a free cello concert. What more could I possible desire?
You can be so beautiful and good to us, Life, and today felt like a treat, so thank you! I hope tomorrow you’ll bring more joy, but if you don’t, at least I’ll get to tell everyone how good you were to me today.