Dictionary

Expiration (aka How Long It Takes To Forget Me)

  • Definition: When you find out the general amount of time that is needed for people to forget all about you. That sounds quite dramatic, but in a way it’s hysterical: imagine all the mayhem you could cause and them not even remembering it 365 days later!

“Some of the most famous books are the least worth reading. Their fame was due to their having done something that needed to be done in their days. The work is done and the virtue of the book has expired”
– Moliere –

First of all: those scales I’m on in the picture are children scales in the Miffy museum; they did not go past 40 kilos. So don’t worry: I am well heavier than that.

In fact, here’s 72 kilos of Samantha you’re bound to forget in another 365 days or so. Why? Because of the most stupid phone call I ever received in my life and which I’ve written out down below. Mind you, I thought it was hilarious!

*MOBILE RINGS. IT’S AN UNKNOWN NUMBER AND I PICK UP*

Me: “Hi, this is Samantha.”
J: “Yes, hi, this is J. who am I talking to, please?”

(J was my boss when I worked as a BodyPump instructor, a little over a year ago)

Me: “Hi J! It’s me, Samantha!”
J: “Yea, I got that, but who are you?”
Me: “What do you mean?”
J: “I am looking through my contact list and I didn’t recognise your name so I thought I’d give you a call. Could you tell me how we know each other?”

(At this point I was both flabbergasted and at the brink of dying from laughter)

Me: “Oh, well, sure. I am Samantha, I used to work out at your gym and I  was a BP instructor eventually.”
J: “Oh, that’s right! I asked N (girlfriend) and she didn’t remember either so I thought I’d just call. Okay then. Bye.”

*WE HANG UP – BY THIS TIME I WAS IN STITCHES*

So much for J being a business mastermind and for his girlfriend with her self-proclaimed photographic memory :p

Normally I would have been upset, but I know J and he’s such a big goofball I just couldn’t help but laugh. It’s happened before, though, that people would forget who I was after as little as a year. For instance, a college professor who’d supervised my master thesis and had ended with complimenting me a lot on my work. She kept saying I’d go places in the academic field (boy was she wrong, lol!). A year later I met her again and she didn’t know who I was. Ouch!

But it’s okay. Because not everyone is worth remembering. We team up with the people around us because they are given to us by coincidence (read: the Universe) and it’s human nature to make do with what you have. Then our ways part and forgetfulness replaces our memory. Besides, our brains are funny and some of us simply have better memory skills than others, no need to fret about that.

It happens to all of us (I’ve forgotten people despite my good memory), although it hurts to be at the receiving end of it. Then again, I was wondering how J had been doing, and now I know he’s doing fine as usual: he’s still the same guy I last saw a year ago.

But I can’t help wondering: if my expiration date is a year after I lose touch with someone, how long is the expiration time for others? How come I find it  difficult to stop remembering people, even if I’d very much like to? Is their expiration date longer than mine?

I guess it depends on ourselves: some people are worth remembering until the end of time. Some people are not. But even so, there’s no expiration date for the good times we had with them, and every so often those memories will surface and make us smile.

I bet J had a little smile-moment of his own, after hanging up: “Oh right, that Samantha! How could I forget!?” ;)


Have you ever forgotten about someone? Or have you been forgotten by someone? What is your expiration time?
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22 thoughts on “Expiration (aka How Long It Takes To Forget Me)

  1. Well I found this phone call a little hilarious and sad at the same time. If I didn’t recognize a name in my phone anymore, I wouldn’t dare to just call that person and to ask them who they are hahaha. So I found this hilarious. I don’t know what kind of man J is, but it sounds like he doesn’t care but just do the things he wants to do or ask. And I found it sad, because it is sad how often people forget about other people. But sometimes I wonder; did they really forget about someone, or are they pretending that they didn’t know you anymore? I also have a lot of troubles to forget about some people, and I still think about people from when I was really young, even when they did really hurt me. But I guess this is just how we are. I’m high sensitive and I don’t know if you are high sensitive (although I do think you are, if I see how much we have in common). but I think it is just something for the people who are stronger with emotions, that these are the people who won’t forget someone really easily. Because a lot of feelings and thoughts are stuck in our heads for a longer time, and people around us, give us the most feelings and thoughts. I have to say, I really like your photo, I think you have a lovely smile on it :) So don’t bother that someone forgot about you, just make a promise with yourself, that you won’t forget yourself, EVER!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. J is never out to hurt someone so that’s why I don’t mind. He’s got this kind of… almost child-like energy so it’s hard to get mad at him over this, especially because I know it’s a completely innocent gesture, haha. When I told him who I was, he remembered. (Also, he’s getting older, so… you know :p).
      Is there any way to figure out if you are high sensitive? Because I always read your blog and can relate to pretty much everything you write, so maybe I am like that, too.
      I made a deal with myself: if people forget me in about a year, I can let bad memories go in that time span. So I am going to try and let go of all the negative memories I have of different people and see where I am in 365 days (or actually, less when I count from the moment I broke off contacts).

      And yes, those are the best words to end a comment with: never forget yourself! Thanks for those wise and inspirational words, Romy :)

      Like

      1. haha yeah that were the words I was searching for. a child-like energy, that’s what I felt when I wrote about J. So I know he’s not a bad person, and its nice that you weren’t offended or something! And this is a really good deal, maybe I have to make that deal with myself too!! I think you are high sensitive. I dont want to put anyone in a box. But I know about how you write, that you are way more sensitive than other people. And I know you’ve been through a lot and also because of your mind is playing tricks with you. If you like to read more about HSP (high sensitive person), you can read it here. HSP is coming up more and more but many people still don’t know that they are. So I’m really curious about how you think of it and if you can agree that you are probably a HSP :) https://www.nieuwetijdskind.com/hsp-wat-is-hooggevoeligheid/
        if you have any questions about it, you can ask me ANYTHING. Im reading a lot about HSP and I’m trying to figure out so much so just ask me or tell me what you want too!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. “Evaluatie van de HSP test
          Je hebt 19 punten

          “Je bent heel waarschijnlijk hoogsensitief (HSP-er). Je bent gevoeliger voor nuance verschillen dan de meeste andere mensen. Het kan nut hebben om een boek te lezen over hoogsensitiviteit of kennis te maken met andere HSP-ers. Het kan zijn dat je heel veel herkent en daardoor iets bewuster wordt van deze eigenschap van je.”

          Well, who would have thought, haha! ;)

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Haha Well I didnt expect that :p (just kidding) maybe if you read more about hsp, some things will finally be clear to you why something happened or why you react in some kind of way or why you think like that. I think it is something really powerful but you have to learn how to deal with it! So just do what feels good for you with the score and I hope everything is clear to you :)

            Liked by 1 person

            1. I am grateful for the link you shared with me; I have been reading a bit and some pieces of the puzzle already seem to fall into place. And I also laughed a lot, because my coaching course will force me to face a lot of personal things and I think it’s going to help me a lot to become grounded and more in sync with myself (which is exactly what another website about HSP said HSP people were to do). This year is going to be an eye-opener and a tough one, but hopefully a good one for my self-esteem :)
              Thanks again for bringing this to mind!

              Liked by 1 person

              1. Yeah just read things whenever you are ready and maybe they do tell you something more about yourself! Im also really busy with become grounded and more in sync with myself, this is also why Im having these rebalancing session. If you this is better for yourself, you are going to feel better about yourself, thoughts and emotions. I think its going to be a year with a lot of new things for you but you are going to do well with all the eye-openers, even the tough ones :) no problem and I really like to read how you think and feel about this subject, so thank YOU for sharing it with me!!

                Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ll claim to not forget folks but often wonder if they’ve forgotten me. I think that’s human nature. We probably all think people who don’t keep in touch have forgotten us…but feel we remember everybody who should be memorable. (Meanwhile our memories start pushing people out to keep the numbers down in our brains) That phone call was amazing. Never had anything like that happen to me and pretty sure I’d never make it happen for someone else. If I came across someone in my contacts I didn’t recognize I’d give it a day or two to come back to me before “moving on.”

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I have a wonky memory.
    There are things I remember out of the blue that baffles me. Then there are things I’d like to remember but can’t.
    Then, there are things (and people) I’d like to forget but my silly brain has them in a special room to which I have no key.
    Sometimes this can be hilarious but sometimes quite sad.

    How do you forget someone who you loved madly but broke your heart. I cease communication. But what if that person wants to remain friends? How do you get past the hurt? How do you break up with and forget your best friend?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Time. That’s the only thing I can think of. Time will make it all hurt less and eventually cover memories in a layer of dust.
      I am still rooting for the invention of an on-off switch for (parts of) my brains, though.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. “some people are worth remembering until the end of time.” I remember people. I can’t always remember names (such as students I taught three years ago who turn up at the grocery store), but I vividly remember people, even from elementary school. J (not the J who phoned you, though).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am good with faces, but names are a different story. I think if J had seen me, he would have known who I was. And of course I forget about people and then sometimes they’ll pop up in my head again, or I’ll bump into them and it’s like: “Oh wow, that’s been a while!”

      And some people I just forget. Not because I want to (it doesn’t work that way, sadly), but just because of… I don’t know. Time, perhaps. Or not having mad a huge impact on each other’s life.

      Like

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