Letters to Life

Letters to Life (5)

life2

“To the World you may be one person; but to one person you may be the World”
– Random Paper Wisdom (but the actual quote is from Dr. Seuss) –

Dear Life,

You have a funny way of answering my questions. As my family received another set of “happy bundle news” this weekend, I once again wondered where I’ve gone wrong. Seeing as my sisters kept straight on the path of Life and followed it innocently, I am more like Little Red Riding Hood and strayed. Well, that’s what it feels like anyway.

While my sisters found work, houses, and partners to reproduce with, I spent my time wondering where to go. Which directions of the forest to explore next. Who to give my cookies to (which is accidentally a very nice metaphor).

I feel like a loser sometimes, because when I was younger I had not imagined my life at thirty to be anything like this. Then again, what grounds to I have to complain? I have a roof over my head, albeit not my own roof. I have a small income, which is better than nothing. And despite all the trees in this big forest I got lost in, I found a path that may actually take me somewhere in the form of me being back in school.

The thing is, when I heard I’ll be an aunt again I was both excited and a little slumped. Because I wonder where I went wrong; it feels as if everyone around me is moving forward, making big decisions and expanding their lives, both figuratively and literally, while I am not. When will I meet someone who’s actually worth my time? Who’ll guarantee me I won’t stay alone forever? Where is my proof all will be okay?

During yesterday’s meditation session I learned why it takes me longer to find a suitable partner: how do I expect to find a strong man when I am weak? I need(ed) to grow strong myself, first. And that takes time. I then asked for a sign that I won’t be lonely for the rest of my existence, and today Life handed me this paper wisdom. Irony is so typical of you, Life.

I didn’t even want to talk about all this, but when Life hands you an answer you don’t ignore the topic. Because in the end it’s all about having faith things will turn out fine. That even if you strayed from the obvious path and got lost in the forest, you will eventually find your way out.

And if I’ll make it out alone, at least I’ll have a few nieces and (a) nephew(s) to hand my non-metaphorical cookies to.

X,
Samantha


Who is your World? How and when did you meet them?
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15 thoughts on “Letters to Life (5)

  1. The grass looks greener on the “straight and narrow” path of your sisters, but you may have a freedom in the looseness of your life that you don’t even realize — that you may realize nostalgically once you get on that “straight and narrow.” There’s always a tradeoff. Enjoy the uniqueness of where you are now while you can! (You must be inspiring me. I’m starting to sound like a life coach too :) )

    Liked by 1 person

  2. We all have a coach inside us (I think – not sure but it sounds very wise). I really hope I don’t ever get on the “straight and narrow”. At least not in all ways. I want to travel and write and help people (not particularly in any order) and if I could do that together with someone like-minded, I’d like that. If not, I guess I’ll be busy baking tons of cookies :’)
    I know in my heart I don’t want to be like my sisters. I’d never trade lives with anyone, but… Whenever something “big” happens it makes me doubt for a second if what I’m doing is right. It usually only takes a few days before I get my senses back :p

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I think that is one of the hardest things about life. It appears that others have made “all” the right choices and we haven’t. Patience sucks too. It’s great that you are acknowledging your feelings. That’s where we start. I think the next step is accepting and being happy where we are at. Finally, we use faith to know that things will work out. I think all of it is hard, but I have the hardest time with faith. Probably because I’m not patient. 😬​ Beautiful and honest post. 🙂​ Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Faith is tricky, yes. Because you are required to believe in something that may or may not happen… *sigh*. But it’s good to know I am not the only one :) And I rather wait a lifetime for someone who is worth it than waste my time on people that aren’t. Thanks for commenting! :)

      Liked by 2 people

  4. The faith in the forest is where I see myself. Very challenging to read the tea leaves of life and figure out which fork in the road to take to get out of that forest and into the clear. I do agree in feeling – at times – everyone else has it together and I do not. (I know that’s ridiculous so I can quickly talk myself out of that forest) My wife and I will be married 34 years in April. I guess that qualifies as a “world” tour!

    Liked by 1 person

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