“The pine stays green in winter… Wisdom in hardship”
– Norman Douglas –
It’s been a strange week. One filled with all kinds of emotions, and one that passed a lot quicker than I had imagined. BUT! I did manage to learn some new things:
Sometimes things are just the way they are
This almost sounds like a Bruno Mars lyric, but it’s true. I have a tendency to think for other people, meaning that if they, for instance, won’t reply to a text, I somehow always end up assuming they don’t respect me enough or don’t take me serious. In the end, though, I always find there is a plausible explanation (too busy, forgot, was away for the weekend) why things happen. Sometimes, things are just as they are and there is no reason to be paranoid.
I find it strangely satisfying to know there will be people whose death I (hopefully) won’t witness
I always worry about the people I love most; my parents, my sister, my nieces and nephew, my best friends. Then a thought crossed my mind the other day: “I probably won’t be around any more when J and D die” and I was happy. I mean, I hope my niece and nephew way outlive me, obviously, but they’re not the only ones out there I care about who might see me go first. For that, I am strangely grateful.
It is not up to me to solve everyone’s problems
One of the things going on in my head this week was how I despise myself every now and then. I always seem to know better in a way where I think I can solve everyone’s problems. I can’t. And even more importantly: I don’t have to. Sometimes people don’t need me to solve their issues, they have to figure it out on their own. All they need is time and space, not a blonde neurotic woman breathing down their neck.
Having said that: I hope my friends know that if they have problems, I’ll be there to listen to them and (but only if they want to), help them solve whatever is bothering them, if I can.
The World doesn’t revolve around me
Talking about relief! Whew! This was a big one, right here! Sometimes I get so caught up in my own head, I forget there’s a whole world out there, with all kinds of people who have all kinds of thoughts as well. When things go seemingly wrong, it’s not always because someone is out to hurt me, it could actually be about someone else’s life. My life is not the only life. It’s good to be put right back into place. Thank you, Universe :)
All is well that ends well
In continuance of number four, I’d like to add it’s good to hear from people. My insecurities grow when I get radio silence from friends I reached out to (for whatever reason), so it’s always good to talk things out and get things out of your system. The friend I am working with for a project? She was too busy to send me the requested files, but did so eventually. The friend who is very ill and didn’t call? She phoned in the end and explained how tired she constantly is. She wants to meet up soon when she’s in good enough shape. She also sounded very upbeat on the phone, which caused me to drop more weight off my shoulders (I swear, worrying about people is a heavy burden). So you see: all’s well that ends well. Don’t automatically assume the worst.
(Don’t know which friends I’m talking about? Read Disrespect)
Jamie’s ear infection is chronic :(
My little gerbil man really got back to his old self, but then this morning I noticed him shaking his head in a funny way and walking as if he’d been drinking. It wasn’t as bad (yet) as the time I took him to the vet, but my whole system was on red alert: that’s my intuition yelling at me that something’s wrong. I had read online that his condition could be a recurring one, meaning that the choleasteatoma (swelling) in my pet’s inner ear can cause ear infections every so often, and the only thing to cure these is by antibiotics. The swelling itself cannot be cured.
I had secret hopes I’d been wrong about this and it was a one-time thing, but unfortunately it’s not. I better put my vet under speed dial :(
Paper-wisdom: This paper brings you luck. Keep it in your wallet to save
This week, for no apparent reason, I’ve been very sad. I thought it was because of C, my adopted sister with cancer, or maybe all my worries combined. Plus, sometimes I just feel bad and need a break to reset myself. But even after hearing C on the phone and feeling a bit better, I was still low on spirits. It occasionally happens that I am sad without a reason before something bad happens, so maybe I subconsciously knew Jamie’s health would worsen? I am not sure. What I am sure about is that I am in desperate need of a break. I am in desperate need of some luck.
Universe, seriously, you work in mysterious ways. Now please make C (and my Jamie) better :(
There is only one song that best describes what I felt like the past week. And since I’ve been busy finding violin/classic editions of well-known songs for my project, I had to pick this version.
Enjoy the Earworm Of The Week!