“Common sense is not so common”
– Voltaire –
This is the last Sunday Summary before November and also the last one before I turn thirty. Let’s see what wisdom I managed to squeeze in before the big turn of age:
The difference between arrogance and self-confidence
It took me a while to figure this one out, but here’s what I think is the difference between knowing your skills and being arrogant. If you are self-confident you are aware of your talents and you trust your skills, as you know yourself. If you are the latter, you think your vision of the world is the only correct perspective and you put yourself above everyone else when it comes to importance.
So, as long as you are open to the opinions of others, you have nothing to worry about (I am terrified I’ll become arrogant one day).
If you only ever expect people to adjust to you, your world will remain incredibly small
Imagine never changing for anyone, never trying to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, never thinking how the other party might feel. Never trying to understand where someone is coming from. Then your world cannot ever be big, if the only one in it is you. You simply can’t expect people to always adjust their behaviour to your likings. If you do, you live in a bubble. If you are the one doing the adjusting, your world grows bigger each time you do so as you will not only learn more about the other person, but also about yourself. Just don’t forget adjustment should work both ways and it’s never only up to you to do the changing.
My adopted sister whom I met in Canada has been diagnosed with breast cancer (again)
Do you know what it feels like to be hit in the face with a brick? Me either, but I suspect it feels a lot like hearing news like this. A woman I met on my Canada trip earlier this year, and whom I clicked with so much we decided to trade in a sister each to become each other’s sister, put this horrible news on her social media pages. I cried and am still very upset. Cancer sucks, period. Cancer should get cancer and die.
My friendsister told me on the phone she is awaiting news on how bad exactly her situation is, so let’s all hope/pray/beg the Universe it’s as good as bad news can possibly be.
Nobody deserves cancer, let alone more than once.
What makes sense to you doesn’t necessarily make sense to someone else
In this post I wrote about how I snapped at a friend. I thought my story made sense when I explained why I wasn’t feeling up for a meet-and-coffee at her house, but she replied with “?”, which sort of instigated my snapping at her even more. I realised afterwards that maybe my explanation made sense to me, but it probably didn’t to her. I know I think differently than most people, but sometimes I forget. Explaining myself maybe not my biggest talent, and I know if something sounds plausible to my ears others may find it incomprehensible gibberish. People are different and we have different views of the world. The only thing we can do is try a little harder to understand each other better.
Friendships change, because as you grow older friendship expectations don’t necessarily equal friendship realities
Some friendships seem to be more work than others and I wondered why. I suppose people change over the years and sometimes the expectation of the friendship doesn’t grow along. For instance, imagine you met your friends in high school, but you’re all adults now. Maybe in high school you had a lot of common ground between you, but by growing up and making different decisions (work, partner, kids) life has changed and so has your common ground. Accepting things have changed will alter the friendship, but not accepting it will result in your mind staying frozen at seeing the friendship as it was in high school, even if the social dynamics of your friendship have changed. In other words: the way you perceive the friendship might not be how it actually IS. Some friendships become a lot of work because you are trying to keep something going that’s based on false expectations. You cannot stay the person you were when you met your friend(s): you keep growing. Therefore, your friendship has to grow along, too.
Always trust your intuition
“Should I double check the time to be at M‘s tomorrow for the high tea? Nah, I’m sure it was three p.m..”
It wasn’t. M called me at half past one to ask where I was, because E had already arrived and we had said to meet at one p.m.. Imagine that, someone who hates late comers turns into one herself.
Sad fun fact: M lives an hour away… In the end I was one and a half hours too late. Good job, me – NOT!
Morale of this story: if your mind rings a bell, even if it’s a small one: always listen to it!
I love my wisdom papers! They always know just what to say each week, as this one proves again: I don’t trust words that only serve to mislead fools
Need I say more? I feel like I have grown more impatient around some people. Possibly all people. I have yet to find out whether it’s because of me, the other people, or both. But talk bullsh*t to me and I won’t even bother to listen. Go waste someone else’s time. And that’s exactly the growing feeling I get when yet another someone can’t be bothered to listen to my stories and yaps on about themselves instead… So, so tired about that.
I’m not going to make my 1,000 words limit this week either, but oh well. Blame it on my twenties’ irresponsibility or something :p Life will be better as from tomorrow, heh!
Let’s end this last summary of my twenty-nine year old self in style, shall we? With the Earworm Of The Week! Gooooood luck trying to get this one out of your head! If you can’t: go take a run. It’s a great song to do some jogging on ;)
What have you learned this week? Or do you have any tips to exit a horror escape room? ;)