“A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer”
– Bruce Lee –
Another week has passed. Let’s see what it brought me in wisdom:
You are nothing if you do not have faith in yourself
You can collect as many life dreams as your head can fit, but they don’t mean anything if you don’t believe you can make them come true. If you want to become something in life, do something meaningful, you better start believing you have what it takes to get there. And even if you won’t reach your goals, at least you’ve given it your best shot! If you never try you’ll never succeed. Have faith in yourself and make things happen!
Nobody is born an expert
When watching a lame TV show about talented young kids, I noticed how the judges criticised them as if they were grown-ups, and often I would hear comments such as: “Yes, you are good, but not great,” “There is a lot of room for growth,” and “You fell, you know we have to deduct tons of points from your score now, as this clearly wasn’t an Olympic-worthy performance.”
These were kids. Showing off talents I can’t even dream about showing off, such as singing, dancing and playing a musical instrument. Nobody is born an expert, nobody comes to life with all the answers or all the skills. Ease out a little and just appreciate what they can already do at such a young age (the youngest was, I think, eight or nine years old and he sang like a nightingale).
Others might adjust to you, as you would adjust to them
I’ve never experienced this before! I always assumed I’d be the one doing the adjusting, making sure the other party liked me and I respected them properly. But when my gerbil fell ill (actually, he fell over, which made all my alarm bells go off) and I received a text from a friend asking how I was doing, I simply said to ask again in a few hours. She asked why, I told her I’d tell her later, as I was in no mood to hear my problem could be solved by “spending €2.50 on a new one.” (Which is her standard answer when she hears news of hamsters etcetera dying).
She eventually put me straight and confessed she’d never say that to me, as she knows how much my pets mean to me. I feel awful for expecting her to react so negatively, but also surprised, knowing I am not the only one doing the adjusting.
Things only matter if you project value onto them
I saw a news item about the White Helmets saving children in Aleppo from under collapsed buildings. It broke my heart. Immediately after came a commercial break, introducing new perfume, cars, and other luxury products I couldn’t imagine the Aleppo kids would be happy to have; all they want is their family back. Their lives back.
The things we own, the things people try to sell us, everything we surround ourselves with… It only matters to us because we choose to see the value of it, while in fact all that really matters is our safety, health, and loved ones.
Sometimes people don’t need you
One of my friends has confided she’s feeling exhausted and depressed. I tried to help her by giving her a confidence boost as well as point out the good in her life, but I noticed that’s not what she needs right now. What she needs is herself, lots of rest, and knowing that whatever comes her way she’ll make it through. I can tell her that all I want, but she won’t believe me; she needs to see it for herself. I hate to be unable to help someone, but in this case I am not needed. When she’s in need of a friendly ear I’ll be there for her, but it’s also important to know when to retreat and let others be.
Stubbornness can be a good thing
My gerbil Jamie tried to walk and fell over. He tried again and fell over again. This was all I needed to know something was very wrong with him. I took him to the vet and believe it or not: as he was running over her examination table he seemed fine. No collapsing, no walking like a drunk gerbil, nothing. Probably the adrenalin of being somewhere scary. Anyway, the vet didn’t believe me and was ready to send me home, but only after I kept pressuring her to examine him, because he kept falling over to the side of his wounded ear (Jamie had a little wound in his right ear), did the vet look up with an alerted look on her face. She immediately proceeded to measure off pet antibiotics.
The second we got home and I put Jamie back in his cage, he fell over again and found a quiet spot to sit in and look utterly miserably. All I can say is: thank goodness I am stubborn and trust my intuition. And that Jamie seems to respond well to his banana-flavoured medicine :)
This week’s paper wisdom is: I will remain silent when I am about to lose my patience, and will only speak again after I have calmed down
Today me and my family went to the rail-road museum and had dinner at my sister’s house afterwards. Her son has taken a renewed liking to me (he told me I am “The most sweetest aunt Samantha in the whole country!” – awww :3) and sat next to me at the table. I knew he was deadly tired, as was I, and he was testing how far he could go with fussing over his food until I’d snap.
Somehow, though, I managed to keep my calm. I explained he was NOT going to lick honey off a knife as this is very dangerous, and even when he started squeaking and fake-crying I didn’t relent. I also told him not to steal the cheese off my bun (*sigh*) and that he wasn’t getting a new sandwich until he finished the one on his plate.
If you’d only know how impatient I am by nature, you’d understand my personal victory here. Bottom line is: this wisdom works! Count to ten, and if that doesn’t work, count to a hundred.
That’s it for this week! In the honour of the poor woman with the short heart-printed cape and very peculiar clothing in general, whom I might have made a “funny” comment about, here is the Earworm Of The Week. The joke was that I told my mother we had found her: Mega Mindy. The backlash/bad karma was that I got stuck with this kid’s TV show tune in my head for the entire rest of the week.
Always be kind to each other :)