Dictionary

Ludicrous (aka The Driving Licence Saga Continues)

[Adjective; ~ Pronunciation: /loo-di-kruh s/]

  • Definition: Finding out, by accident, you are allowed to use all kinds of different personal transport, because you can drive a car. I wonder what’s next. Is flying a helicopter anything like driving a car? Even if not, I must pose this question to the Dutch government and see what happens…
ludicrous“I think we’ve got a basic discrepancy here between the rule of law and the rule of man”
– Roy Moore –

Do you know that feeling when you see or hear something and you know something’s wrong, but it takes you a while to figure out what exactly? Well, this story is nothing like that.

As you know by now I recently got my driver’s licence renewed and am good to go for another ten years. What you probably don’t know is that the concept of the actual licence has changed several times during the past years. For instance, I no longer own a coveted “pink paper” as proof I can drive a car, but they made it into a plastic card. I suppose it’s for easier usage, but still. I kind of miss the old iconic paper version. Especially because it took me long enough to acquire.

Another thing my stupid country’s government (or is it: “my country’s stupid government”? You know what, I’m going to settle for “my stupid country’s stupid government”, just to satisfy everyone’s needs) has come up with, is that all people who own a driving licence category B (car), are also allowed to drive a motor scooter.

Yeah, because that makes sense – NOT!

I have never so much as sat on one, let alone took one for a spin. But surely I am officially allowed to terrorise the streets trying. You know, if I wanted to.

That’s what this post is about: the ludicrous rule that even if something makes no sense, you can still officially do it. I mean, isn’t it strange the government would allow someone like me to ride a motor scooter? I’m sure it’s not even remotely like driving a car, so why would I be allowed to do this? Beats me.

There’s another ludicrous rule which has only just been approved by our country’s leaders (really, do they have nothing better to do than discuss what to put on driving licences and what not?). Hold your breath please and add a drum roll, because… I am now officially allowed to drive a tractor! That’s right! I have no idea where to get one to use, let alone how to work it. Also, no clue how fast a tractor can go at top speed (can’t be that fast, can it?) or what the traffic rules are for moving around in one.

However, the Dutch government thought it was utterly necessary to add this “bonus” to everyone’s driving licence, provided you were found fit to manhandle a car (please imagine me doing an eye-roll here – thank you).

When I went to pick up my plastic piece of proof to drive, the nice woman at the Town Hall told me about this new addition. I was so flabbergasted and excited, I went straight home and told my parents. I even checked their licences too, but since the implementation was only introduced last July, I’m the only one in our family who has it black on white they can legally hop on a tractor and drive off!

I am so super lucky! You know, if all else fails at least I can drive a tractor if I wanted to. Out on the open road even! So, so happy.

After realising I don’t actually own a tractor or know someone who does, my excitement quickly depleted. But only for a moment, because my mother bought me a plastic toy tractor (it’s actually a construction truck but I thought the idea was hilarious so let’s pretend it’s a tractor).

Unfortunately, I cannot drive this one either as I don’t exactly fit into it, but my gerbils are just the right size so it’s all good. I’ll just put some food on top and let them hop on.

But I must make sure nobody’s watching, though. Because gerbils driving a tractor… Now, that’s just ludicrous.

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