[noun; ~ Pronunciation: /hawr-uh-skohp/]
- Definition: When the phenomenon called astrology is used to explain your character and help you in finding your perfect match and/or avoid your predestined nemesis, based on the position of the stars during your birth. Forget the nature/nurture debate, it’s all star signs that matter!
“We are born at a given moment, in a given place and, like vintage years of wine, we have the qualities of the year and of the season in which we are born. Astrology does not lay claim to anything more” – Carl Jung
After our annual Christmas dinner at our local Chinese restaurant, we were, as usual, given a calendar. And just like every year, it featured the Chinese star signs and a little explanation for every animal depicted. Chinese astrology works just like the Western kind, only it goes by years instead of months, meaning that because I was born in 1986, it makes me, and everyone else born in that year, a Tiger.
This is what my new calendar says about Tigers:
Now take another look at the big picture on top of this post. You’d think I’m screwed (and with me all Tigers), because this year is the Year Of The Monkey!
Here is the description of Monkeys:
I know what you’re thinking: where is she going with this? Well, to my client.
Mind you, I quit my job as from January the 4th, but there was one client I didn’t want to leave behind. Mostly because she’s a great person, very kind and caring, and if anyone needs my help, it’s her.
She was dumped by my former employer AND her local government, because she has an adult son living at home and she’s younger than 75.
On paper, this means her son can take care of her, and she’s ineligible to buy household help for a cheap price from her local government, because she’s 15 years too young.
In reality, it means she’s been brutally cast aside by all instances, despite really NEEDING help. Her son’s a full-time student, with tons of homework, a weekend job, and nearly no free time as it is. And herself having multiple health issues, it’s nearly impossible for them to keep up with the housework.
I felt so bad I offered to come over every week anyway and help her clean, for as long as I’m still in the Netherlands.
We get along great and each week we open up more to each other, and I always find we have more things in common than I thought. Yesterday she talked about a man she’d dated, and what had put her off him. His behaviour she described and her reaction to it made me think she and I might be more alike than I thought.
I asked her what her star sign is, but honestly I don’t know that much about astrology. I think it’s interesting, but I’m not very knowledgeable when it comes to people’s star signs. However, I went a step further and asked her about her Chinese sign, too. Just for fun, because of my new calendar.
The description of Tigers seems pretty accurate personally, and what it says about Monkeys actually makes me yawn, thinking I’d not enjoy myself when being locked up in a room with someone defined as “able to influence people” and a “good politician” (I hate politics).
Because she didn’t know her Chinese star sign, she googled it, and while she was doing so I told her at least she wasn’t a Tiger or a Monkey. Because this calendar works with a twelve-year cycle and her birth year didn’t add up to 1986, and because I like her and I’m not supposed to get along with Monkeys. In fact, my calendar tells me to avoid them at all cost.
Turns out we are a true mismatch made in Heaven, because she’s a Monkey! :’)
We stared at the screen of her smart phone for a few seconds, but the truth didn’t lie: all this time I’ve been working pleasantly for someone who is supposed to be my star nemesis!
Astrology… Seems like it’s just monkey-business after all.