Pronunciation: /uh b-sesh-uh n/
“Cure for an obsession: get another one” – Mason Cooley
Throughout my life, I’ve had many different obsessions. Most of them only lasted for a (long) while, like when I was twelve and really felt Britney Spears was the best singer in the world (at twelve you’re allowed to be naive).
Others are recurring, for instance my habit of going months without eating any peanut butter at all to eating, no, craving it on a daily basis until I’m fed up with it again.
Take a look at the picture on top to see my newest mania: chocolate hazelnut pasta spread! I hadn’t eaten it in years, then all of a sudden found myself longing for it. Really, really needing it! I can only imagine that’s how pregnant women feel when they have one of their famous cravings. And no, I am not pregnant.
I thought buying myself a jar of the heavenly choco hazelnut stuff would temper my want of it, but on the contrary: the mere smell of it drives me insane!
I was watching The Walking Dead just now and suddenly I understood perfectly well what the zombies are going through when they smell live meat. Because that’s exactly how I feel when I smell chocolate hazelnut pasta: I just have to eat some (sometimes I catch myself making the zombie noises when plastering it onto my slice of bread – Hrrhhrrrrhrr! Must. Eat. Hazelnut. Pasta. Hrrrr-hrrrrrgh! Hr! *drool drool*)!
Talk about being obsessed. If I didn’t know better I’d be eating it all day long.
Then there’s a last group of obsessions: the ones I don’t ever seem to overcome. Pandas, for example. Everything that resembles a panda instantly makes my heart race and my mouth starts making squee-noises automatically.
And my friends and family all feed this obsession, too. I didn’t have much of a birthday this year, but I still received lots of black-and-white themed gifts, and even if it’s intended for little kids (stuffed toys, games) I instantly love it nonetheless. It’s an obsession made in heaven.
Chocolate is another keeper, mania-wise. Dark, milk or white, I don’t really care, I love it all! My all-time super favourite is dark chocolate with a mint filling.
Although I have to say milk chocolate with whole almonds is a close second! Any chocolate with nuts in is very welcome, actually, as is white with rice crisps.
My final, biggest life-long obsession is myself. I’m seriously obsessed with the person I am versus the person I want to be, compared to how others perceive me. I can’t seem to let it go; I keep wanting to change myself. I very much feel the need to do that, as I keep noticing I don’t like the person I am today.
Sometimes I wake up and think back to the day before, rummaging through all the silly things I said or did. Some days I wish to evolve in a mental way: become more collected, or be calmer, more mature. Other days I wish my body to be different. Slimmer, leaner, shorter, you name it. Nothing’s ever good.
Lately, most days I just wish I’d stop obsessing so much. It drains a lot of energy and if you keep staring at what you think is the right way to go, you miss out on the real way to get there.
Like everything in life, it’s actually quite simple: living your life, following your dreams and making them into reality, is very much like training your triceps. When performing overhead extensions, the key is to keep your elbows together. Squeeze them tight, so that when you look straight ahead, you see them in the corners of your eyes. It hurts more, but it’s better.
Life is the same. It’s a crazy analogy, but in life we need to keep our head together. Think rationally, act the way that’s best for us without harming others. Keep our eyes on our goals, our dreams, our aspirations. But always remember to view the world around us through the corners of our eyes, to stay on the lookout and be open for other options.
There isn’t just one way to get to where you want to be. Life is not written in stone. Nothing you do is, nor is the way you are. If you don’t like you, there’s plenty of room for change. But if you focus on nothing else but that, it will never happen.
If you obsessively focus on something you wish to have, you’ll forget to look for a way to get it. And staring alone isn’t enough, it’s not going to set anything in motion. The real change is not that what you wish to accomplish, but what you do in order to get there.
It’s time to test Mr. Cooley’s words and find a new obsession to replace this one. I’m thinking sleeping. Or going on tons of holidays, to get my mind off of changing myself (and get a tan while at it – that would attack the physical side as well!).
Or maybe just eat some more chocolate hazelnut pasta spread! If I keep that up, I’ll very likely turn into a zombie. And aren’t they the mere epiphany of change?
I think I’ve just found the way to go ;)
Hrr! Hazelnut spread! Must. Eat. More.