“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn” – Benjamin Franklin
I’ve learned something new each day for the past week and listed it in this week’s summary:
- Everyone feels lost in life at times. I was at a friend’s house, with a third friend, playing a game and watching some TV simultaneously (us women can do that, you know, multitasking). I am not sure how it happened, but at one point the most collected one talked about how she felt a bit lost at times. She’s the only one of us who has managed to find a job that’s actually sort of in the area we all studied for (we’re college friends and we’re all sociologists). She’s engaged, has recently moved into a bigger house and basically, as life stories go, on paper she’s done the best out of us three. Sometimes I am a bit jealous of her, because I always believed she has everything she wanted, or at least everything a lot of people would want, and seems to be constantly reaching her life goals.
Apparently I was wrong, because she confessed she has no idea if she’s doing the right thing, if her life is going the way she wants to, and if she’s doing what she likes.
It’s nice to take comfort knowing neither one of us three knows exactly what we’re doing, we’re all messing around and even if we look collected (she told me she sometimes dreams of just quitting it all and travel the world instead, and she knows I’m planning a big trip), we’re not. Don’t be fooled: no one’s got it all figured out, you’re not the only one!
- Don’t stray from your own research; believe in yourself! I have been systematically saving up money, for no reason in particular. I always figured the reason would come eventually, and this week it did. Since I am planning on travelling again, mostly to countries were it’s not that hot (read: places notorious for their cold weather), I thought I’d spend some of my savings on a super deluxe, warm, cosy and comfortable winter coat. A very expensive super deluxe, warm, cosy and comfortable winter coat, mind you. But a GOOD one.
Before I went to the store to buy one, I surfed the web to check what my options were, and narrowed it down to two: a pink one with a fake fur hood, a lot of extra pockets and a body-heat-reflecting-system, and a green one with similar extras, but made from a different material. My mother took ONE look at both, then told me to go for the pink one because the green one’s fabric would be real heinous to wash/dry.
With her words of wisdom in the back of my head I took off to the shop to try on the pink winter coat, and as I was doing so the shop assistant came over, and almost took over.
Don’t get me wrong: he was very nice. But he kept giving me other, differently coloured coats to try on and kept telling me there were “better options”. He refrained from telling me how much these “better options” would cost me. In the end, as I was trying on my researched pink winter coat for the sixth time, and the assistant was yet again rummaging the store for more “better options”, I knew I’d regret buying anything else but the coat I had on.
Bottom line: don’t believe everything people in stores tell you. Especially when you’re about to make a big purchase. Rely on your own knowledge and wants, the things you researched, and, most importantly, on your mother’s wisdom.
(Funnily enough, as I was paying for the coat and the shop assistant was carefully putting it into a bag, he assured me I had “made the right choice” and would “really enjoy my purchase.” So much for the “better options…”)
- Don’t just give up on your goal. If needed, take a detour to get there. This one is literal: Tuesday, I was on my way to a client, but halfway there I came up to a road block. The police were diverting all traffic and as a result I was redirected home. Before I drove back, I phoned my client and told him I was either going to be very late, or not make it there at all. I took a huge detour by driving all the way back to my home town (a twenty minute drive from where I was redirected) and tried an alternative route that, if all went well, would take me to my client in about half an hour. And in the end I got there! I was thirty minutes late, and all in all it had taken me over an hour to get there, but… I did! My client was happy, I was happy, and all was well in the end.
- You don’t have to perform well to feel good. This one is based on this story, and because it was such an eye-opener to me, it’s included in my Sunday Summary. Don’t be too hard on yourself: you can’t do better than doing your best.
- There’s no such thing as soul mates. I read this in a psychology magazine while waiting at the dentist’s. The article was about different anxieties and problems with starting/keeping a relationship, and since I have major commitment issues I thought: why not read it.
It was like seeing my own thoughts on paper, written by an unknown hand. I do believe in soul mates, I really really really hope mine is out there somewhere, and I indeed use this as an excuse to turn people down (“No, he’s not it”). But the article said there’s no such thing as predetermined soul mates, or destined lovers, and instead of focussing on this ideal, imaginary boyfriend, I should work towards making my future real-life partner into my soul mate. In other words: don’t sit around and wait for the perfect guy to show up, because he doesn’t exist, and it will only lower your chances of finding a suitable partner.
- Men never overcome a broken heart. Apparently women are better at dealing with a break-up and all drama involved with it than their male counterparts, as the latter simply push their feelings away and try to forget them instead. Knowing this, it kind of soothes my sadistic soul knowing some arse holes will never get over me :)
- This builds on number four: striving to be perfect at your job is okay, but you don’t have to be perfect in every aspect of your life. Why? Because it’s impossible to be perfect at everything you do, such perfection is non-existent. If anyone gives you the feeling they are that great, they’re faking it. But trying your hardest at your job is only commendable. Cheers to you!
There’s no Ear Worm Of The Week. It’s still the same as last, unfortunately.
Happy belated-almost-over-educational-weekend to you all!