To all my fellow perfectionists out there (and everyone else who can use a break), I, the Queen of Perfectionisticism, (is that even a word? It sounds cool, so I’m going to keep it in), say:
It is not about how well you perform any kind of job, it’s about how good you feel about yourself at the end of the day.
Yesterday I was tired, I had not 100% recovered from my cold, I was a bit nervous and felt insecure, and I screwed up my Body Pump lesson. I say screwed up, because that’s how I felt afterwards, even though I knew it wasn’t bad at all. But, striving for perfection, I was bummed out I hadn’t performed better.
The other teacher/my Body Pump mentor was in my class, actually, and told me I “do a good job”. She also said it’s a day-to-day thing: sometimes you feel great and in the zone, and other times you simply don’t.
I told her it’s impossible for me to say I did something right, no matter what that something is, and saw she was a bit shocked to hear that.
And as I was driving home in my car I figured she’s right: it’s not about being spot-on all the time, it’s not about feeling down if things don’t go perfect. There’s absolutely no reason to be cross with yourself if, despite trying your best, you didn’t live up to your own standards.
To be honest, I never live up to my standards because they’re sky-rocketing-high! It’s as if I am my own, overly stern parent and scared little kid in one, the former always telling the latter off for every little silly thing. Everything is always wrong, it’s so freaking exhausting!
But last night, as I exited the free-way, I tried a different approach: instead of reminding myself (constantly) I need to do better next time, I told myself I did well that day. I had worked hard, I had done my best, and that’s all a human can do. I was proud of myself for putting in all that effort, and decided it had been a good day.
You see, it’s not about striving to outperform yourself every time, it’s about giving it your best shot. If at the end of the day you can look at yourself and say: “I did well today, I tried my best” that’s more important than saying you need to do better tomorrow.
And trust me, I am the Queen of Perfectionisticism after all, so I know exactly what I am talking about! ;)