Pronunciation: /heer-oh s/
“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles” – Christopher Reeve
The past weekend was tough, but it also brought me a lot of perspective. I learned that people are, in fact, quite predictable (and still nobody has proved me wrong on that). I learned that some people and creatures always put a smile on my face, even if I have no intention of enjoying myself. But each time I visit my nephew and niece, it’s pure magic. They’re just so adorable, they manage to break even my strongest cranky barrier. And my pets, who are beyond cute and who seem to increase their crazy, funny actions in times I am feeling down.
But no thanks go out to the weather, though. I wish the stupid rain would stop already!
Anyway, I am feeling better and happier. I realise you need to fall a few times before you’re able to appreciate the things you have (instead of longing for the things you don’t have). It is, ironically, just like the Dutch weather: they keep telling us things will get better, and sadly that’s the only truth. Because it can hardly get any worse.
It’s the same with my life: sometimes I need to feel incredibly down, only to realise there’s only one way to go: up.
I am terrified I’ll take a wrong turn in life and will end up lost, so maybe this is my safety-net (be it a strange one). I can’t make a decision what I want, so instead I sit around and wait. And then when nothing happens I get moody and cranky and have a minor breakdown, only to get back up again and redo the whole thing.
I am seriously weird.
And impatient. Because I have a plan, and I’ve had it since the beginning of this year. It’s just that once I know what I want, I usually can’t wait to get it. And what I want is another sign from The Universe on where to go with my life. Do I stay in this wet country or do I start packing again for another foreign adventure (after which I return home and the process of finding a job, saving up, and travelling starts over).
That’s what I do: in times of doubt, let The Universe decide. It minimises the chances of making big life-time mistakes. At least, that’s how I justify it in my head. The reality is different, of course.
I want to travel. I want to spread my wings and fly (what was my secret superhero power again? Oh right, being inexorable). I want to get away from all the lying, deceiving, energy-sucking people who drain me emotionally, every day. I want to be free. I want to enjoy my life. So maybe it’s a good thing nobody wants to hire me! ;)
Honestly, my life isn’t that bad. It could be better, but it could also be a lot worse. But sometimes it’s allowed to feel a bit under the weather (especially during a time that just won’t stop being another prolonging of the rain season). It’s okay, because everyone has bad days now and then. We’re all “dancing with the demons in our minds” (wooahahwooaoahoo) every now and then. But we make it through. We fight back and continue down this road. Because we’re heroes. Relentless, strong, and mighty super heroes!