Pronunciation: /nur-cher-er/

nurturer “Find out what your gift is and nurture it”Katy Perry

When I was in Ireland to take an English course and internship (I can’t believe that’s almost two years ago already!), one day our class was asked to take this quiz and find out what type of personality we had.

Of course, this quiz was just for fun. I don’t imagine it was an actual psychological evaluation of our minds, but these twelve questions were to give us a global idea of what “box” we fit in, what “label” we could put on ourselves.

As far as these labels went, by the way, there weren’t too many. Meaning that a few students were typified to share a certain personality. I, as in everything I do or that happens to me in my life, was lonely in my label (I’ve learned to blame this on my uniqueness). This quiz, even though at the time I disagreed, characterized me as a nurturer, which was based on me being a planner + someone that loves facts + I think with my heart + I am introverted (seriously, if I read this description again, it seems as if I couldn’t make a decent choice and ended up getting a little bit of all).

Anyway, the description of a nurturer continued as follows:

  • How They See Themselves: gentle (muehmm), conscientious (oh Lord this is true!), mature (well, sometimes, maybe)
  • What They Are Like: quiet and caring, may have trouble making decisions that could hurt others, tend to avoid conflict, others may take advantage of them (all true)

I do not like that last point: others may take advantage of them. I don’t like to be taken advantage of! But unfortunately, I think this might be true. I also think this might have something to do with that other thing, the tend to avoid conflict-thing, although I am working on that (and on a side note: when I get that down, the world better start being very afraid of this bad *ss, mega strong, never-letting-anyone-ever-use-me-as-a-doormat-again woman! Muaha – Okay, back on track now).
When I first read my score I disagreed. In fact, when the teacher asked me about my results, I only told him reluctantly. I then opened my mouth to list down all the reasons why I felt I was NOT a nurturer, when he said: “Well, I think it could be true. You did nurture panda’s,” and at that same time my mind showed me a mental image of why I AM a nurturer. Although it didn’t involve panda’s and I never told anyone, but I thought of my mum, lying on the couch and sick as a dog, covered in three layers of blankets and wearing a woollen hat and STILL shivering.

When she had cancer, I nurtured her. I took care of her as if our social roles had been reversed, and in a sad way they were. For a while, I was the mother and she was the child. It was the hardest period in my life, but I know if anything were to happen to her again, or to my father, I’d do it all over. Reluctantly, but I would jump back into that nurturer-role without a blink or a second’s thought.

Because I am a nurturer. Apparently it’s not a decision, it’s just there.

Anyway, I am doing it again. No, mom’s fine in the sense that she doesn’t have cancer, but I *might* have given her my stomach flu from last weekend… Just might.

OKAY I DID! >:( But not on purpose!

I spend a lot of my time trying to figure out who I am, what type of person I am, where to go from here, and what my place is in this world. I spend even more time listing the things I dislike about myself (although I stopped doing that a little while ago and am now merely observing myself rather than criticising everything I do) and trying to change all of that, even though I know I can’t change the core me, and acceptance might be easier than useless battles against myself.
The Universe works in mysterious ways, and sometimes it gives you answers to questions you forgot you carried with you. Like when you’re in Dublin, taking an English course you don’t really need, but do really enjoy, and you end up taking this silly little personality quiz. For fun. And because your teacher told you to.
And what you hoped to find is not there, but what you do get is ever so much more accurate than your own self-image.

I am a nurturer.

There, I said it out loud. I can now forget about the whole nature-nurture debate, because clearly it’s in my nature to be a nurturer ;)


6 thoughts on “Nurturer

  1. ” I would jump back into that nurturer-role without a blink or a second’s thought.”:

    that is very very sweet…

    “I spend a lot of my time trying to figure out who I am”… “The Universe works in mysterious ways:”

    Indeed. When I applied graduate school, I applied all physics (my undergrad major), and only one business school (by accident; that university allows two applications for one free). I went to the business school. Since then I have never left business school.

    Sometimes we may just let the life go its own way, and we eventually find out our true passion/destination.


    Liked by 1 person

  2. You got me :)

    In my defense, one aspect of life many people fail to appreciate is that luck plays a much bigger role than we think. We tend to rationalize everything with a reason. But lots of issues are random. Uncertainty, rather than reason/rationality, is more likely to the true nature of the matter.

    For example, tossing a coin is as simple an event as you can get. But regardless how learned you are, you still cannot predict precisely the next outcome.

    It is inherently random, or luck.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah yes, that’s true.
      I once had a discussion with a fellow sociology-student at the time about rationality; she stated (and was very convinced of her own idea, mind you), that every action we undertake as humans is a rational one.
      I asked her if she weighed out all her options when, for instance, getting a shopping cart at the supermarket, and if she ever had to walk back to a different aisle after forgetting an item, thus making her run through the store less effective (which doesn’t sound rational at all).

      She never talked to me again after that. I wonder why.

      Liked by 1 person

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